How To Cope with Your Diagnosis When You Feel Like Giving Up

There is a universal experience when living with autoimmune disease and chronic illness. At some point or another, it will all feel overwhelming. Because let’s be honest here, these invisible illnesses, they are a lot to handle. Not only do we feel exhausted and in pain, but there is so much frustration and despair that goes hand in hand with the journey. Our doctors don’t understand what we are going through and we get bounced around from specialist to specialist. It’s tough to get a proper diagnosis, and if and when we do, there is often no cure or solution. Our exhaustion takes its toll and we become isolated from our friends and family. There are times when it can feel incredibly difficult to find the joy in life. 

I know this firsthand, because I experience it too. It can be a terribly frustrating experience to watch people around you do all the things- while it feels like we are watching from the sidelines, limited by our disease. 

Recently, I was asked about this by someone who was struggling. She wrote to me and asked, “How do you get out of the rut of “poor me”? Sometimes it just feels like I don’t have it in me to do it anymore.” 

I wanted to share my answer with you, in the hopes that it might help you too, get out of that rut and into a better, more joyful place. 

Dear Alice*, 

First, let me tell you that you are not alone in feeling this way. There have been many nights that I have spent in tears, wishing and praying that this would all just go away. I have wallowed in the depths of despair, and I can tell you from experience- it is not a happy place to be. However- from the darkness comes the light. During those darkest times, where I truly hated what my body and my life had become, where my soul was laid bare on the floor, I had to make a decision. I had to decide how I was going to live. I had to decide, do I stay here, in my misery? Or do I pick myself up and find a way? 

You see, people who live with autoimmune disease- we are fighters. We are warriors. We have to work twice as hard as everyone else to live our lives. But I wouldn’t have it any way. Because through it all, I have learned the art of self-love. I have learned how to put myself first. I have learned how to make the hard choices, the ones that protect my body first and foremost. 

Because self-love is the key to living in the light. We MUST love our body, through thick and thin, no matter what we look like or how we feel in our skin. I know this sounds silly- but this is what keeps me out of the depths of despair. This is what keeps me moving forward and feeling like there is more life out there to live. 

So, I challenge you to make this your goal- to discover your own love for your own body. I know this may seem overwhelming and difficult. But I promise, it’s amazing what happens when you set the power of “focus” on something. Just by thinking about loving yourself, or even thinking about how to make this happen, you begin to shine the light on the process, and it starts to become clear. It won’t happen overnight, but baby steps are key, and they will take you far. So put one foot in front of the other and ask yourself- What is one thing I can do TODAY that can help me find a way to love myself? The answer may not be clear to you at this moment, but keep looking inward, and you will find it. 

With Love, 
Andrea 

In the next series of blogs posts, I am going to break down the steps I took in order to find my own self-love. It didn’t come quickly or easily, and I often had to take the steps first, crossing my fingers and hoping and praying that these steps would help me find the meaning and joy I was looking for. It is not a simple or an easy path, but through the hard work and commitment to myself and my health, I am finding out who I am, deep down inside. And I love her. That’s what keeps me going, each and every day. The feeling that there is more for me out there, that I have just scratched the surface of what I am capable of. It started with baby steps, and if I can get there, so can you. 

I believe in you. It’s time for you to believe in you too.

*name changed for privacy purposes